Pages

Friday, June 6, 2014

Ticking or Twitching, I Say It’s Mental

Two nights ago as I collapsed in my room and prepared for another hour or two of finals study, I pulled out my laptop and the couple cords needed to keep it running and set everything up. Having used my laptop - a charcoal Toshiba Satellite aged 2 years—for several hours that day without the plug, I needed the thing to run off its power cord—a simple enough request, I thought.

Now my laptop and I haven’t always gotten along. It went through a temperamental phase in which it refused to play any ethnic music - Japanese, Chinese, Russian, French, whatever. No ethnic music, despite my having purchased half of it in America. After a few months it relented and allowed Chinese, French, and the occasional Japanese song. Nothing Russian would be tolerated. Then there was the Windows Media Player tantrum. Having compromised so much in the foreign music department, the laptop decided not to support Windows Media Player. At all. That was avoided easily enough with the availability of itunes, which I promptly downloaded and put to good use.

This appeared to be a below-the-belt hit to the laptop, who retaliated by “losing” all my media files. Any attempt to play any music or video procured a smug “Cannot find file. Would you like to search for it yourself?” message. No, I would not like to search for it myself. Even if I find it you’ll say it isn’t really found, and I don’t have time to argue reality with a computer.

The quarrels died down for a bit and we had been enjoying a friendly truce until it came to finals week. A power cord is a simple thing. You plug one end into the electrical outlet and the other end into your laptop, with about six feet of cord and an electric box in between. The laptop itself displays a battery icon on your taskbar whenever it’s using battery life, and there are lights on the outer edge of the laptop that shine when the laptop is plugged in and charging. Simple, yes? Not if the power cord decides life is not worth living for.

On the night aforementioned, I had plugged everything in and was settling down comfortably in my room when I noticed two things. First, the lights on my laptop told me the battery was not receiving the electric charge, thereby making it impossible for me to work on the paper I needed finished. Second, somewhere in my room one of my many dead watches had miraculously been resurrected and was ticking merrily away.

I love the sound of watches ticking; I’m not sure why. Perhaps because it’s rhythmic and soothing; perhaps because I’m OCD and like to know that time is passing; perhaps I’m just insane. However! When it’s one in the morning and I have papers to write and my laptop refuses - refuses!! - to cooperate, ticking is not a good thing. I meddled with the laptop for twenty minutes without gaining any ground whatsoever. By now the ticking had gotten inside my head and was making my left eyelid twitch (get this) in rhythm with the watch. Tick, twitch, tick, twitch, tick, twitch, tick, twitch. ENOUGH! I was determined to find the watch and manually and, if need be, forcefully remove its life-source. Simple, yes? Not if the watch in question is non-existent.

I searched. High, low, mid, behind, under. Anywhere possible, anywhere thinkable, anywhere physically accessible I searched. The watch was either bewitched or a figment of my imagination. I spent twice as long looking for the ticking as I had on doing CPR on my power cord. For the sake of keeping track, I started at one in the morning and now having spent twenty minutes trying to coax life into my laptop and another forty minutes searching for the mystery watch, I was now at two in the morning without having accomplished anything. I know when I have suffered a defeat, and I, rather ungraciously, retired from the field of battle. I snapped the laptop shut, turned off the lights, and let the muffled ticking lull me to sleep.

The following morning I was delighted to wake to a silent room. I packed my dead laptop and its useless cords in my bag and went off to school. Once in one of the secluded study rooms I attempted again to plug in my laptop hoping that a change of scenery and different electricity would induce it to be sociable. Sociable it was not. Friendly it was not. Functioning it definitely was not. However, TICKING it certainly and unmistakably WAS. The electric box that joins the two lengths of cord between the outlet and the laptop was ticking. Ticking.

I twitched.

And with that I snapped the lid on my laptop and on my two-page final presentation paper and went to work. I have since taken the ticking power cord to Best Buy where I was informed that the power cord wasn’t working properly (I wondered how much Geek Squaders got paid and how much training they went through) and that a new one would be shipped to my home address in three to five days. No, that won’t work. My final is due tomorrow. Well, I was quickly informed, that’s not a problem one hundred eleven dollars and fifteen cents won’t take care of. Simply purchase a universal power cord and return it when mine was shipped to my house. One hundred and eleven dollars and fifteen cents later I left Best Buy.

And yes, I was twitching.

No comments:

Post a Comment